Saturday, November 12, 2016

A Letter from Syrinada

Digging through some old papers, I stumbled across a tattered piece of paper, a letter from Syrinada. 



I have no idea who will ever read this, but I hope that it is found. I hope that it helps you to understand…
I never wanted any of this. Hell, I didn’t even know that this world existed. Everyone acts like I am either some great savior for people who barely want me to exist, or that I will destroy everything I touch. To be honest, with the way things are going, it feels much like the latter is the truth. Here I was thinking that my life was an average life. I went to school, got my degree and went to work. That is what I was taught to do.  All I wanted was normality. I basically grew up a foster kid, the daughter my aunt never seemed to want. She was family, the only family I had, of course she was obligated to care for me. I could see it in her eyes damn near every day, she didn’t want me. She wanted something else, something better, something more. I was a reminder of all that she gave up, all that she could never have.
I tried so hard to make her happy, to become successful. I wanted her to feel like she didn’t waste her time raising me. She deserved her own family, her own life, but there I was. The orphaned niece and she took care of me out of a promise to my dying mother. Talk about a load to bear.
Here I am now, months after being snatched up on the street and taken away. That night will never leave my mind, the terror I felt is embedded in my memory. The way that I escaped… I never knew what existed inside of me. I never knew the power. She never told me. And when I went to her, to ask the question, she denied me. There is no way that she didn’t know, there is no way that I am this creature and she was unaware.
The truth, always comes to light. The truth, as difficult as it may be to understand, it needs to be known. I needed to know.
I’m locked away now, in this home of a friend who clearly wants to be more than that. He says it’s for my benefit and though I know that he is right, I cannot stay here. I must get out, find the truth for myself. There is so much more to my story, so much more to the past that I must know. I am done being locked away, lied to, and made to feel like I am not enough.
There are people out there, the ones that hurt me that night. I will find them and they will lead me to the truth. It all seems connected; it has to be. This wasn’t a random act of violence. It was intentional, I know it. Malachi wants me to do this his way, learn and grow and be what he wants me to be. I am not clay to be molded by the any hands other than my own. If the fires of hell are reaching up, ready to grab hold of me, there is no way that I am just going to sit here and wait to burn. 



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